I feel like I've been in this rut for too long. I miss writing more than anything, and yet every time I put pen to paper I have nothing to say. Can that be the truth, that I really have nothing to say? I feel like it's the truth. What a depressing thought. I hope that I'm just in some weird writing rut that I can quickly break out of. I'm attempting to read more books, hopefully that'll pull me out of this bizzare hole.
Someone told me I should just force myself, but do you know how hard it is to force yourself to write when you have nothing to say? Hell, even this blog entry is taking me forever to write. Seriously. Like three weeks now I've tried to write this. Okay, that's so an overstatment. I wrote my last one...I don't remember when. A while ago right? Anyway, I'm trying. I'm forcing myself! See my forcing myself?
Anyway, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. Quit my night job. It was taking too much out of me, also, if you're not a night person, than damnit you're not a night person. I'm working in the basement of Washakie now, which is significantly nicer! I'm not tired all the time at least. It'll be an adventure to say the least.
Also, I'm still fighting with Lccc over Financial aid. Seriously? I feel like I've been doing this for six months. Oh right. I have! Awesome. How awesome is Lccc? Man I'm ready to be in Casper. Just 11 months. Hopefully less! They're already more on the ball than Lccc.
Still having boy worries. I know, I know, I need to focus on making myself a better person, and improving my life, and not worry about boys. But I can't help it. I like them. Anyway, I just thought I'd inform all you delightful boys that don't read my silly blog that, if you have a girlfriend, tell the girl that you've decided to lead on. Or! Hell don't lead a girl on. Seriously, rudest thing ever, and can make life super awkward. Well, at least I can be the bigger person. (I'm really not that upset. I mean, seriously, 18. What would I do with him?) Ha!
Anyway! Boy drama aside. Life has been going well. I'm spending more time with my Kayley. I missed her so dreadfully. It's been a lot of fun, dressing up and going out and dancing like the sexy beasts we are. And we are very sexy beasts. I've realized that I have more girlfriends this year than I've had in my entire life. Weird!
Well, that's it. I forced myself to write. Here's a new blog for you.
Ciao
Mandy
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I Fail
I told you I'd get tired of this blog in a matter of days. Seriously, I am bad at journalling and you thought I'd be able to keep this updated. Seriously? You're more niave than I expected. That's alright. I'm going to try to do a better job, of course this'll just be another thing to distract me from Homework. Awesome. I forgive it, you should too.
Okay, so what's been happening since April you ask? I could go through this month by month but I don't honestly feel like it. This summer was really quite hard on me, and I learned a lot about myself. It was a weird summer.
Camp was at the new site, Rim Rock. Beautiful place, and it was a great summer. I got to fight with my teeth though. That was lame. But I met some beautiful people from Grace U in Omaha Nebraska. They are simply beautiful and I love all of them. But they're another group of people that I probably won't see but during the summer. Lameness.
I also fought with LCCC all summer, and concluded that next year I will be going to CC, and living in Casper. I need to be there anyway I think.
Right. Camp. So I did all for weeks of camp, which were fun those stressful. I got sick though, by the time the last two rolled around, and lost about 10 lbs, which I promptly gained back once I got to feeling better.
Also, one of my favorite campers came; Lauralei. I love that child but I'm so worried about her. She's had a hard life, and I hate seeing how the world keeps bringing her down. I pray for her ceaselessly. I hope, that some how, someone scoops here up and saves her from the world. Precious child.
Jr. High camp was hard. Not only was I sick, but Monday I got some terrible news. News that I was intent on keeping to myself but feel compelled to divuldge in my blog because, well, no one reads it anyway. I was told I have HPV, which has made things mildly frightening. I mean, I got everything looked at, and fortunately they're not too worried about it but I was terrified for about a month. I told Marie, but she was the only one at camp that knew. I feel bad because everyone was so worried about me, but how could I tell these people that I love so much that I had screwed up big time. It was hard, I cried constantly. Fortunately things seem to be alright, and I had a lot of support here at home (from people that surprised me with how much they supported me). I'll go in for a check and a Pap (Gross!) in a few months. Dec/Jan some time, and see how things look. Hopefully my body will have kicked this things butt and I'll be healthy has a horse.
Other than that scare, I found out that Seth got engaged. Which hit me harder than I expected it to. I know, that those of you who know about Seth are probably like; "Mandy what do you care, you barely had a relationship with him anyway." But I need you to know that I loved him. Yeah. This guy that lied to me and treated me so horribly. I loved him with every fiber of my being, and was so not over him. But, I guess I need to be happy for him. I'll probably never talk to him again, which is a total bummer. I'll get over it eventually.
Let's see...I started school, which is going well. It's exciting to be back in class, though I forgot how much homework sucks. Haha. I'm taking Elementary Algebra, Wyoming History and Biology. Thrilling. Anyone wanna go for me.
Okay, that's about all I've got for now. I'll try to be better about updating this, if anything to keep myself sane. Who knows how well it'll work. Wish me luck.
Mandy
Okay, so what's been happening since April you ask? I could go through this month by month but I don't honestly feel like it. This summer was really quite hard on me, and I learned a lot about myself. It was a weird summer.
Camp was at the new site, Rim Rock. Beautiful place, and it was a great summer. I got to fight with my teeth though. That was lame. But I met some beautiful people from Grace U in Omaha Nebraska. They are simply beautiful and I love all of them. But they're another group of people that I probably won't see but during the summer. Lameness.
I also fought with LCCC all summer, and concluded that next year I will be going to CC, and living in Casper. I need to be there anyway I think.
Right. Camp. So I did all for weeks of camp, which were fun those stressful. I got sick though, by the time the last two rolled around, and lost about 10 lbs, which I promptly gained back once I got to feeling better.
Also, one of my favorite campers came; Lauralei. I love that child but I'm so worried about her. She's had a hard life, and I hate seeing how the world keeps bringing her down. I pray for her ceaselessly. I hope, that some how, someone scoops here up and saves her from the world. Precious child.
Jr. High camp was hard. Not only was I sick, but Monday I got some terrible news. News that I was intent on keeping to myself but feel compelled to divuldge in my blog because, well, no one reads it anyway. I was told I have HPV, which has made things mildly frightening. I mean, I got everything looked at, and fortunately they're not too worried about it but I was terrified for about a month. I told Marie, but she was the only one at camp that knew. I feel bad because everyone was so worried about me, but how could I tell these people that I love so much that I had screwed up big time. It was hard, I cried constantly. Fortunately things seem to be alright, and I had a lot of support here at home (from people that surprised me with how much they supported me). I'll go in for a check and a Pap (Gross!) in a few months. Dec/Jan some time, and see how things look. Hopefully my body will have kicked this things butt and I'll be healthy has a horse.
Other than that scare, I found out that Seth got engaged. Which hit me harder than I expected it to. I know, that those of you who know about Seth are probably like; "Mandy what do you care, you barely had a relationship with him anyway." But I need you to know that I loved him. Yeah. This guy that lied to me and treated me so horribly. I loved him with every fiber of my being, and was so not over him. But, I guess I need to be happy for him. I'll probably never talk to him again, which is a total bummer. I'll get over it eventually.
Let's see...I started school, which is going well. It's exciting to be back in class, though I forgot how much homework sucks. Haha. I'm taking Elementary Algebra, Wyoming History and Biology. Thrilling. Anyone wanna go for me.
Okay, that's about all I've got for now. I'll try to be better about updating this, if anything to keep myself sane. Who knows how well it'll work. Wish me luck.
Mandy
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